So I've been spending more time with theGuild. And it's kicking me in the teeth, really. Currently, I'm doing some accelerated work: Double Potions, and it's with the Slytherins.
Needless to say, I HATE IT. I really do. I don't understand the material, I'm a complete fumble-fingers, and I've very nearly broken my cauldron and set my robes on fire. I have almost been reduced to tears every time I enter the dungeons. And I'm wondering how long it will take for nearly-tears to be actual tears, because I'm defintely a Neville Longbottom in this scenario.
Unfortunately, Potions is a fundamental skill for any member of the Guild, so I have to grit my teeth and just keep trying.
But I'm finding that (besides the queasy-stomach feeling I get when I've gotten the answer wrong, again,) I'm feeling a strong urge to consume. From sticky-sweet pastries to chick-lit magazines, I'm wanting a level of distraction that isn't really what my budget needs right now.
So far, I've been trying to limit my spending, but there's that little voice in the back of my head that whines, "but you were working so haaaaarrrd! You deserve to buy a muffin, Thai carry-out, a new CD, a Porsche!"
Ok, well not the Porsche, but I did have carryout and I was definitely talking myself into a CD, until I realized that I had to you know, pay rent this month.
The worst is that I'm rarely at the Souk anymore: the Guild is sucking all the oxygen from the room, and I can't really manage one well, much less both. So I feel a lot of pressure to perform right now. And that's making the situation a little worse: the more pressure, the greater desire for comfort, and by indulging it -- more pressure to better manage spending.
Just venting, I guess, but does anyone else do this kind of retail therapy?
edited: The references here are from Harry Potter.