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Things get messy...

June 25th, 2008 at 07:35 pm

I took down an earlier post as a result: too much information in too public a manner.

I'm having a Neo-in-the-Matrix moment, where I'm suddenly aware of problems that had previously flown under the radar. There are a few family responsibilities that are causing (have caused, will be causing) some major financial damage.

I recently did an assessment of some personal goals, and right now, my money commitments are at cross purposes: I want to be there for my family, but by being there for some, I can't easily be there for others. And by involving myself at all at this point, I'm jeopardizing not only my own situation, but my ability to be there for anyone in the future.

So it's been really confusing. Right now, I have 15k in debt, with 7k deferred for a little while. At my current income, I can definitely pay it off within 25 months. But at the same time, that's if I don't increase my spending from this point forward and leave myself with a tiny emergency fund.

However, there's a wedding this year, a recent family trip, and another relative who is swimming with alligators. I seem to be the person that's supposed to be taking care of this, and realistically, I don't think I can shirk these duties.

In addition, I don't think I can do any more moonlighting, not if I want to further my education. Rather, my moonlighting will be school-related training (unpaid in a non-negotiable manner.)

So I'm trying to balance my options with my responsibilities, and it's not helping me sleep at night, that's for sure.

I'm frustrated, because I can't talk to my family, and my friends aren't in a position to "get it" yet. Some friends have the money issues down, but don't have the same family situation. Others understand the family drama, but have their own leaky financial boats.

4 Responses to “Things get messy...”

  1. sillyoleme Says:

    Family has a way of complicating things, I know this myself. My "personal loan" is actually one I had to take out for my younger brother, because his truck was broken down and he had no established credit. I know it's hard sometimes, but I'm sure you will figure it out!

  2. merch Says:

    I would just prioritize your budget. Take care of you first and your debt. Then see where everything else lines up. What you can fund, you fund.

    The other question is are you enabling the person.

    But do take care of yourself first.

  3. sagegirl Says:

    I agree with Merch--analyze what YOU need. You don't want to "shirk" your responsibilities, but are you actually supposed to be "in-charge" of the alligator swimmer or did someone designate that role for you? I love my family and would do anything I could to help in a financial situation, but never at the risk of putting myself in financial danger. I don't think that anyone in my family would expect that from me. So, Merch is right--analyze the budget, take care of your priorities (which includes shooling and debt repayment) and what is left over can pay for the swimming lessons. (I love talking in metaphors--I am going with it!) Good luck to you!!! Smile

  4. baselle Says:

    Speaking about talking in metaphors - remember the plane safety talk. Make sure you put on the oxygen mask first before you help others. And remember that bankrupting yourself to help someone bankrupt isn't going to change their finances, but it will sure trash yours.

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